The Whisper

Just some quick context. As a continuation of a discernment process toward discovering my true self and vocation, I am spending 30 minutes each morning listening for The Whisper, specifically in response to the question "Who Am I?"
I received something this morning. It did not come in the form of an audible voice. Never has for me. Wouldn't that be nice. But I know it was The Voice, not mine. It told me I am a "forgiverer." That's how I first heard it. I don't think that is a word. Maybe "forgiver" is. I guess correct grammar is less important here. But it came as a statement of reality. I am one who forgives. I feel like this is partially why I know it came from The Whisper. I wouldn't normally be thinking with some great certitude that I am a forgiver. I think I am. I strive to be. So I believe the Voice. But at the same time it is not the way I would naturally describe myself is someone told me to list 5 traits about myself. I sensed that The Whisper led me on a thought process that next said, "You are a forgiver...so act like it." And then, "You are this way because you have been forgiven." Thank YOU for this.

Experiments in Truth

Along with about 30 friends, I am committing myself over the next 40 days to take some intentional steps toward becoming a more healthy and whole human being.

1) Body experiment
We are bodily based spiritual beings. We know no existence outside of the body we have been given. Let's get used to it. Even in a moment of ecstatic spiritual bliss, it is taking place inside this body. Even if it feels like we have gotten "outside" of ourselves for a time, we soon come back to earth, back to our body. There is no getting away from it. And that is an okay thing, and probably a good thing, if we can learn to embrace it. In an effort to do just this, and enter into a deeper awareness of how my body is connected with my spirit, mind, and soul, I am committing to the follow practices:
Monday/Friday - Circuit Training, Core, Stretching
Tuesday/Thursday - Pilates
Wednesday - Stretching
Saturday - Run, Stretching
Vegan diet

2) Identity
A large part of the broken and jacked up ness in our world is due to the fact that we, human beings, don't know who we are. Taken to the level of the individual, we allow too many false voices to inform us as to who we are. The result is a schizophrenia of sorts, just one that is less visible then the man walking down the street talking to himself. But it is no less real, and potentially even more destructive. In my own life, I all to often let the false voice of Deception rob me from embracing and living into my true self. In light of my longing to know who I am, I cam committing to the following:
30 minutes of listening every weekday morning, specifically asking the question "Who am I" and anticipating the Whisper.
Extended prayer time each Monday morning.
Extended time of silence and solitude each Friday morning.

Shalom

In The Silence

This past weekend I went on a silent retreat with a group of 10 friends. Very interesting time. I love this kind of time. It feeds my soul. But it can also be quite frustrating :-). Here are some words that came to my mind.

In the silence my mind goes, it flows, wandering to and fro.
The thoughts of my beating heart, the feelings of my delicate soul.
Yearning to be heard, longing to be lived, they are speaking to me.
Cutting through and breaking down this callous wall that is
The stuff that seeks to suffocate the Spirit within.
They are telling me who I am.

Father, son, brother, husband, companion, friend, mentor, neighbor, teacher, inspirer, beloved child.
Love, light, compassion, mercy, patience, justice, truth, strength, courage, faith, hope and love.

I hear the whisper.

"These are yours. This is you. Take it and make it who you will be and what you will do.
Trust me, believe that I know what is best, that I will give you rest,
That I am wooing you with open arms into my ever expanding chest.
Follow me. Your soul is safe here, your body will be refreshed.

Your spirit and mind I will shape to be of a different kind
than you even know, as you grow, to be more like me."

In the silence my mind goes, it flows, wandering to and fro.

Ignorance IS Bliss

It's true. Life is a lot more blissful when we don't realize how absolutely jacked (insert any four letter word of your choice) up it is. I became overwhelmed earlier today by this reality. Maybe it was just a funk I was in. Maybe it was the Creator meeting me at a place of deep longing for me; that I would see and love the world and people as He does. But then I ask myself do I really want this? Breaking this ignorance will be the opposite of bliss. I was at a coffee shop and asked the barista if they had any fair trade coffee. She looked at me like I was speaking Chinese (we are in Birmingham right now; they don't speak Chinese here). She had no idea what that meant. Surprisingly to me, a co-worker of hers did. She went to ask her manager if they had any. The did not; but they did have "American coffee" which was not "really bad." (There is probably some truth to this. If the whole coffee-bean-growing-picking process really did take place only in America it is a lot less likely folks were being enslaved). But I wasn't exactly sure what "American coffee" was. Then we were enjoying the Homecoming Parade before the Bama football game. It was my first time to see it (but not my first time to see a game there). It was designed to be a time of celebration. I was having a hard time getting into a celebratory mood. I couldn't stop thinking about the reality of millions of people in bondage at that very moment. Some of it a result of my ignorance or my unwillingness to embrace the reality that my decisions are affecting their lives. (By the way, I decided not to get the coffee.) Thousands of people being tortured, raped, oppressed; the exact opposite of the reality I was experiencing at that very moment. It was kind of bizarre. Kind of heart-breaking. Kind of a feeling of hopelessness. Mostly a feeling of deep sadness and mourning. This is not the Creator's dream for His creation. I wish I could forget it all.